The Cycle.

“This isn't going to be easy.”

“I don't know what you want me to say.”

“You know, it seems like you never know what to say. I...look, I really don't want this to go in this direction. But don't start off like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like that! Exactly that. You're so tense, and already defensive. Just relax. Maybe we should sit down.”

“Jesus, Tyler, is this really going to be one of those conversations? I like to think I'm not so fragile that I'll faint at the mere mention of something I don't want to hear. My legs work fine, last I checked. I'll stand.”

“You're just being stubborn. Here. Sit with me. Please? Thank you. Now...this really isn't going to be easy.”

“You've already said that.”

“I know. I know...I just, I don't know. You are so important to me. The past few weeks, it's like you're a part of me. You've been there for everything, you're forever etched into my life....I, what? Why are you shaking your head?”

“I'm shaking my head because this is bullshit. I don't want the poetic bullshit. I've heard this all before. I'd rather leave, if this is what's going to happen.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I'm talking about what you're saying! It always happens this way. You find someone, you find someone and you give a shit. You give a shit about them, you try, you work to make things different with them. But no matter what happens, it always leads to this fucking conversation.”

“Please...please calm down. Sit down again, please.”

“Stop saying please! Stop telling me to sit. Talking quietly, sitting down, that doesn't change things. Putting a different, nicer title on some shit doesn't make it stink less.”

“Claire, I'm not breaking up with you.”

“I know. I know you're not. We're not even together, how could you? To get rid of commitment, there has to be some in the first place.”

“You don't think I've committed anything to you?”

“No, not really. There's a lot of beautiful words in the English language, words you can say and perfectly craft to create an image. But you don't have to mean them to say it.”

“Claire, I've never lied to you.”

“But have you ever told the truth? Look, you're not breaking my heart. You're not. You can leave, you can go, you can get up right now and leave without saying anything more. That might even be better, honestly. You're not the first and you wont be the last. It's the same with everyone.”

“I'm not trying to hurt you.”

“Hurt me? You're not hurting me, Tyler. You're boring me. You're fucking putting me to sleep, really.”

“Claire,”

“No, stop. I'm doing the thing you're not supposed to do in these situations. I know what you expected. I know you wanted me to sit down beside you, bow my head, listen to your bullshit about being too busy or being too sad or being too narcissistic or sick or stupid to be with me, listen to you feed me compliments you don't mean so you can feel like you're a real nice guy. Maybe you expected a few tears, nothing too serious. You'd tell me now's just not the right time, I deserve more, all of that. Maybe you thought you could kiss me goodbye, and leave, shutting the door on this and walking right on down the hallway and out of my life. You expected me to feel pretty damn bad, and yourself to feel really fucking powerful. Well, it's not going to happen that way.”

“I really think you've got the wrong idea, I don't know what,”

“No, I think I've actually got the right idea here.”

“Claire, I was just trying to be honest with you. You mean a lot to me, you do. I know you think I'm a dick right now.”

“I'm being honest with you too. Look at me. No matter what nice things you say, this conversation is going to end with you leaving. You're walking out that door, and I'm sitting on this couch. I'm not going to beg you to stay, or yell at you to go. I just want you to know, that I know.”

“You know what?”

“I know this story. I don't know, I don't know how to say everything I'm feeling.”

“I don't know what to say either. Look, I have somewhere to be at 6. I just wanted...”

“It's okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...no, I don't know.” tears

“Oh, Claire. Come on. I'm sorry. You're beautiful, you're so great. I'm just not good enough for you, I cant...I can't give you what you need. Not now...I'll see you soon though, I will. This isn't, this isn't the end. You know?” kiss “I...I gotta head out, Claire.”

“It's okay. I know. It's okay. Wait, let me get the door for you.”

“I'm...I...”

“No, it's okay. Really. I'm okay.”

“Bye, Claire.”

click

footsteps

“Fuck.”